I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
