i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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