i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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