SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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