the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
