remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
