nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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