so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize
