I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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