There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
