a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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