how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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