Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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