What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
