So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
