Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
