is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm having to shit out rocks
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
