Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize