i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How external is "for external use only"?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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