bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
