i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Do vagina's smell?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
