singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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