a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
