i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
