this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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