After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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