You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Randomize
