You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This is the high leading the old right now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
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