she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
