Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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