Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize