Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
