I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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