so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
