I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
