I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
