for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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