Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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