i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
