I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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