fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
