the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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