I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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