I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
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