Soap is not a condiment
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
