I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
