I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
