Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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