peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
