Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
