the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hippo gnu deer
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
