Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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