just come out here and I will go home with you...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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