Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Randomize
