I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
