Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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