As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I could fuck to npr.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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