Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
