Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
