hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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