I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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