plz talk dirty to me
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
