Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
So squirting runs in the family.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
