This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
