you guys were way drunker than both of me
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
