They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize