Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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