You're so nebulous sometimes
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize