I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
