So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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