Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
