I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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