im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
