sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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