He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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