shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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