you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
