Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Randomize
