Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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